For some time now I have been considering my purpose in this world. It is something I come back to time and time again. Some of you may have seen a post which I accidentally posted about calling which was unfinished. I may work on it more and repost.
This year has been a year where I believe God has been calling me to something. That something wasn’t clear at first and I thought it involved moving, doing something completely different to what I already do, maybe even to the ministry! I even put out feelers to different people who I thought might help.
The calling wasn’t making sense, the part about what I was meant to do. The fact that I was being called was making sense. I had numerous clear messages about the calling from bible verses, to people saying things to me and I even saw a plane flying low over my head with a banner streaming behind it – saying, I kid you not:
Jesus is calling you.
Will you follow?
I was so amazed that someone had the guts to hang such a banner from their plane and that someone would get a clear message if not more than one person, about Jesus. It wasn’t until later that I realised that someone was actually me!
I had a period over the summer which I have mentioned in a previous post that seemed to be really gloomy. I thought I’d missed it – It being what I was being drawn towards – in other words, called.
When I look back at some of my dreams and the way God has spoken to me I realise that I was being drawn to use what I do for God, every part of my life. The whole life. I even woke up with a word one morning which was almost shouting at me – RE-INTEGRATION! To expand that further – I mean reintegration in every day life. How I am with my family, what I do for work – gardening, my interests – nature and the wonder I experience through it.
Most of all – and I think I allude to this on my homepage, I want you the reader to understand what the gospel is about. It’s not just words on a page but it’s about words lived out through someone who is committed to Jesus.
I enjoy writing and the process behind it. It’s a great form of communication. In my life I have been involved in communicating the wonder of creation, helping in bible literacy, using print and digital media to convey a message and what better message than that of the gospel. The message of Jesus. The message that is behind so much of who I am and what I do.
The gospel message and who Jesus is, must impact the heart if it’s to make any difference at all in a person’s life and to have impact on the world.
That was a long introduction to what I want to say next. What I am going to write is still quite raw and I may need to come back to it to unpack it for myself and for you the reader at a future point.
As this website is about dreams I want to expand something that I am finding. It is becoming more real to me. Dreams are one way that God can speak to us. They should not be an end in themselves as they can lead to deception, like anything if handled wrongly. I want to be able to handle my dreams correctly. They do need to line up with what can be known about in the Bible.
It seems when you look back at some of your dreams they are actually following a theme. This is what is happening here with the 3 dreams that I share. (Maybe there’ll be more!?)
Dream 1
It was in the afternoon. I was to attend a client to work. I had started working and noticed another client over the road was ready for me as she’d left her door open.
Something happened to my bike I don’t know how. I took it to a little shop. The guys there were really helpful.
I’d propped it up against the front and was talking to one of them how it seems when you get a new bike it never works smoothly straightaway. One of the guys was agreeing with me. I didn’t see them sort it out but it had been fixed.
Then a couple other guys joined the first one. They were all rugged work types. They said that’ll be £10. I pulled out the money. I had three £10s. They were all a little different. The first looked really counterfeit. It was much bigger than it should be. The second more real and the last was decidedly dodgy too and the images on it were out of focus. One of the guys said if you lay them all on top of each other they’d be correct!
I went in with the tickets or papers they’d given me in my hand. I went to the cash desk. There was a woman there. It was quite high up. I fumbled around dropping all their small papers and went down to pick them up. I finally paid with two spanking new £5s.
“It is too late in the afternoon for work I can’t do it now” I thought.
I was taken outside and a narrow gauge train was waiting. It was powered by some powerful energy. I got on it. It had lots of goods/carriages. We moved off fast. I looked left and on the other side of the road where the shop was by was a couple of bikers. Then another train like the one I was on went through with another running parallel to it. The one I focussed on was carrying coal. Each of the trains were long including mine.
We started out on track. I could see ahead well as I was near the front behind the driver. I was concerned when the track ran out as I thought we’d crash but the train kept going – fast. It went over stones, down slopes. Even when a returning two engined train came towards us it merged into our train and went the same way as mine – forwards. It was running both on and off tracks.
I also remember thinking surely if we continued like this we’d wear the wheels out but no!
This went on for some time and I wondered where I was going. Suddenly the scene changed and I saw a map before me of the route how it criss-crossed, line over line not in a circular route but a complex pattern. It was like looking down on the situation. A plan view.
On the map off to the side by the coast was a tiny island which was the focus and it could only be reached by getting the train to the airport and then flying there.
Dream 2
This morning I dream that I am with someone who needs some direction. I may be both the director and the directed in this dream. I go down through a red light, take the wrong side of the road and end up not sure where I am going and getting a puncture. The other guy just leaves me. Something also in this dream about changes in a company.
Dream 3
A Steve from church was the driver of a steam train, Abi and Isaac were passengers. The engine couldn’t stop. I was shouting brace yourself. I tried different things. I knew it was going to crash. It was going full steam ahead, on a track this time. I wasn’t afraid just waiting for the impact. I was anticipating all that was going to happen and seeing it all happening before me. We past a station at speed the people on platform all moved away from the edge. A girl called Tianna was one of them. I tried different things to slow us down. Everything went black.
These are the raw dreams. They all need to be examined in the light of what is going on in my heart at the moment. That’s where the title comes from. Each of the three dreams relate to the same thing, what I desire to do or be. I have been taking the bold step, bold for me in sharing what is going on in my inner world and how that relates to my dreams.
At times I think, this is awesome people are going to see what I am writing about and see how it’s all working out. At other times I’m thinking what am I writing? Is this a worthwhile exercise?
I think you may be able to work out from the previous paragraph which dream relates to which sentence!
The first dream relates to a change of heart. Not that what I am doing in the rest of my life is irrelevant it’s more that the activity of writing this blog is stirring up within me a passion, something of the heart.
Part of the dream conveys this as far as I understand it at the moment:
When I am paying for the bike fix I take out three £10 notes. Each of these notes represents to me the parts of my life that are significant yet they are not effective if they are done separate from each other. The number 10 signifies completion. This is conveyed when I pay £10 but use two £5 notes. The number 5 may have something to do with grace and/or abundance. There may be something of the Lord’s abundance and grace in this – quite likely as that is how He operates. The number two can mean witness. There is a witness that I am complete with this transaction. I am whole or together because of the exchange that has been made.
There is a surprise in store for me. Leaving the shop I am projected onto a train – this is my purpose. The work that I have been involved with up until that point is an opportunity but this new purpose signified by the train is going ahead and it will open up even more opportunity.
Others who travel nearby will also have purpose in their lives as they move forward in their purpose. I run in parallel with them towards an intended outcome.
Even though I traverse stony ground I will still move forward. The route will take me into wider opportunities and open up many possibilities. This can only be seen as I look from a higher point. It will lead me into my future destiny. I will be flying. All the tracks in the dream may be new networks – intriguing!
When I thought about the first dream I had one of those moments of inspiration which was this thought:
Making an exchange for work done on my bike. The trade was a faster more extensive service with full network capabilities!
This phrase and the fact that there were lots of tracks criss-crossing made me think of the internet and all of its possibilities in reaching people.
And yet looking at the other two dreams I am uncertain that this will happen. I may end up in a mess….
Usually when I wake up and work through the dream it is much more focused and sharp as the days go by the memory of the dream or dreams fade and sometimes the interpretation can look different. Like in this case. Could it be to do with a change in political party leading the country?!
The third dream is about being on the right track but not letting the passion in the purpose dominate the rest of my life. I know that it is something that the Lord may be interested in by the fact that Abi is short for Abigail which means the Father’s joy or delight and Isaac often in my dreams means promise. Both of these two are offspring of mine in real life. They represent the beginning of something new.
Steven means that which surrounds or crown. He is in the driving seat. I want the glory to go to the Lord in my life but I need to give him charge over it all and not be hasty.
Dream number 2 got me thinking about the human spirit particularly my spirit and my motivation. What is the human spirit? How do we define it? Somewhere I have heard of it defined as our motivations. It would be good to find a scholarly biblical paper on what the human spirit is.
Interestingly Tianna is a derivative of Christian which comes from the Greek word for Christ. Christ means anointing. It is important to take a step back like Tianna did in the dream. The station is a stopping point. This is like a warning to not rush ahead. Take stock. Lean into Christ and the relationship that is available with him.
When I think about a particular subject that I’m quite into it during the day it doesn’t necessarily come up in my dreams. Yet if it’s something that is of the heart something that I am pondering for example that’s when it seems to come out in my dreams.
In reflecting on these dreams, particularly the last one the words from an old song we used to sing in church from Psalm 45 came to me.
My tongue shall be the pen of a ready writer,
And what the Father gives to me I’ll sing
I only want to be his breath I only want to glorify the King.
Psalm 45:title–1 (LEB): 45 For the music director; according to The Lilies. Of the sons of Korah. A maskil. A song of love. My heart is moved with a good word; I recite my compositions to the king. My tongue is the pen of a skilled scribe.
Then I had another song based on the words below. This song and verse refers to Zion, the city of God; those who are believers.
You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord , and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. Isaiah 62:3 NRSV
I may come back to these thoughts in future. Dreams are a reflection of what is happening within you as a person so they are ever unfolding.