I haven’t written on connecting with God for some time. Some of you may wander how I do this. The process I undertake varies. I don’t think there is a formula for this kind of activity but it helps to at least start somewhere.
This morning my thoughts took a ready made relaxed form. Sometimes my thinking on waking can become rapid and jump around all over the place, not having any structure. This was one of those mornings where my thinking was more sleepy and it was a pleasure to just be!
I was beginning to think how I could praise God and wondered what the best way would be to start. An old chorus came to mind of the 1980’s from The Down’s movement. I was also considering Isaiah chapter 25 and trying to recall without turning to it what it said as it had recently struck me .
Just so you’re aware this all takes place this time of year in the dark around 5 ish when I usually awake. That’s just my natural way. I am an early bird. Not so much an early riser but one who wakes early! I tend to be quiet and not to wriggly as my wife lies next to me and values her sleep. She tends to go to sleep later than me even though we go to bed at the same time. Being one who works shifts as a nurse she values her rest, as do I of course.
As I was doing this praising and singing in my heart when I had a picture. Now this happens to me a lot at the moment. Sometimes I can work my imagination and think on something that I’ve read, seen or heard. Other times like this I have what I call involuntary imaginings where the picture comes to me without effort as if from an outside source. Well for me that outside source is Holy Spirit. (Well I could split hairs here and say the source is also internal as well. The point is the vision, picture or whatever you want to call it came to me, I didn’t make it happen).
The picture was of a series of smart black vehicles, one after the other at the same speed passing before me going down the road. At the back of the procession was a singular motorcyclist in rather old gear following on, also as part of the procession. His front light shone as if on purpose right in my eyes. The word cavalcade came to me. That word means a formal procession of people walking, on horseback, riding or in vehicles.
As often is the case I begin to ponder the picture asking Holy Spirit for understanding. I had woken earlier from a dream which I do not remember but I do remember the word that came out of it: change!
There is a change taking place in me.
I was speaking as I do to Holy Spirit (that’s often what I do internally throughout the day. I endeavour to keep the conversation open. He’s a good listener. And I am trying to hear him better. I say He, just because it’s easier than to write a whole sentence explaining gender which I am almost doing now! ). I was saying to myself ‘I can’t measure myself by other Christian’s but I realise I need to be what you want me to be’.
At that point I clearly heard: You’re the guy at the back shining your light, just by being who you are!
Later on whilst gardening I came back to the picture. And thought yes I may be the guy at the back but that is where he wants me to be. Shining the light on the fringes, on the edges.
The kind of cavalcade I had witnessed was like a royal procession that the Queen would be part of. The picture was also saying to me that I am included in the royal procession of Jesus.
Sometimes I look and listen to the ‘big’ men and women in Christianity and feel that I can never be like them and I am not an upfront kind of leader. But that’s ok! In this picture he is showing me that I am still part of the royal procession and that I am bringing up the rear which is just as important. When one brings up the rear they are checking out for those who are straggling and hopefully they can encourage them along the way. Looking out for those who may be on the fringes or edges and getting alongside them. Hopefully I do that.
There was also a sense of leading from the back. Even though I might look differently I am still one who shines a light. I do this in a different way than everyone else.
Hopefully in writing this you will see something of yourself as you follow Christ. No doubt having spoken to others about this; we compare ourselves to others who might be more vocal, more active in their faith and so forth. This blog post is meant to be as an encouragement to who ever reads it, to be who you are meant to be. Even if you feel like you’re at the back!
But thanks be to God who always lead us in triumphal procession in Christ and who makes known through us the fragrance that consists of the knowledge of him in every place. (2 Corinthians 2:14).